Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Hell sucked! We are back!

- Dolph Lundgren, Showdown in Little Tokyo

Before we let you leave, your commander must cross that field, present himself before this army, put his head between his legs, and kiss his own arse.

- Mel Gibson, Braveheart

I only shot you in one foot. Hobble to the hospital.

- Steven Seagal, The Glimmer Man

Friday, July 10, 2009

Personnel? That's for assholes!

- Clint Eastwood, The Enforcer

There's a monster in your chest ... It's a really nasty one. And in a few hours you're gonna die. Any questions?

- Sigourney Weaver, Alien: Resurrection

Thursday, June 4, 2009

For 350,000 dollars, I'd fuck anything once.

- Steven Seagal, On Deadly Ground

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

One night you'll close your eyes, and when they open I'll be there. It'll be time to die.

- Chuck Norris, Invasion USA
The blood from your whole body goes to your head... it stops there... never comes down. But soon, it will come out of your nose, your ears, and even your eyes... and then... you will die... painfully...

- Jet Li, Kiss of the Dragon

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Listen, punk. To me you're nothin' but dogshit, you understand? And a lot of things can happen to dogshit. It can be scraped up with a shovel off the ground. It can dry up and blow away in the wind. Or it can be stepped on and squashed. So take my advice and be careful where the dog shits ya!

- Clint Eastwood, Sudden Impact
I am gonna ask you questions. And every time you don't give me answers, I'm gonna cut something off. And I promise you, they will be things you will miss.

- Uma Thurman, Kill Bill Vol. 1

Sunday, May 24, 2009

You're a funny man, Sully, I like you. That's why I'm going to kill you last.

- Arnold Schwarzenegger, Commando

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Yeah, I want some blow. Put your hands where I can see 'em or I'm gonna blow your head off.

- Steven Seagal, Marked For Death

When I look at you, I have a wet dream.

- Jackie Chan, The Tuxedo

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Drop that zero and get with the hero!

- Vanilla Ice, Cool as Ice

Monday, May 18, 2009

That look on your face would turn good whiskey into sour piss.

- Lee Marvin, Death Hunt

Yeah, I got a deal for you. Crawl out from that rock you're hiding under, and I'll drive this truck up your ass.

- Bruce Willis, Die Hard With a Vengeance

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Fuck with me, buddy, I'll kick your ass so hard you'll have to unbutton your collar to shit.

- Clint Eastwood, The Dead Pool

Don't judge a comic book by its cover.

- Vin Diesel, XXX

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Let me tell you something. If anybody else gets hurt on that plane... it's gonna take a hell of a lot more than a prison cell to keep me from ripping your fucking nuts off.

- Wesley Snipes, Passenger 57

You're terminated, fucker.

- Linda Hamilton, The Terminator

Friday, May 8, 2009

Never drum on a white lady's boobies at a big redneck dance. Got it.

- Will Smith, Wild Wild West

The correct term is Babes, sir.

- Keanu Reeves, Point Break

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Imagine the future, Chains, 'cause you're not in it.

- Brian Bosworth, Stone Cold

This ain't my year. Here's a pimp, patio full of whores ... I'm the one getting fucked ... nah!

- Isaac Hayes, Truck Turner

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

You want my vote for the Psycho Hall of Fame, asshole? You got it!

- Kurt Russell, Tango & Cash

I hate this place. I hate penis-eating minnows and I hate freaky fruit. I want to go home.

- Dwayne Johnson (as The Rock), The Rundown

Monday, May 4, 2009

I hear all sorts of bullshit everyday, pal. You want some advice? Take your fancy clothes and your black silk underwear and go back to Disneyland.

- Jean-Claude Van Damme, Double Impact

The last guy that made fun of my hair is still trying to pull his head outta his ass.

- Dennis Rodman, Double Team

Yeah, and I'm from my dad's penis. Now fuck off.

- Andrew Dice Clay, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane

Yes! You will be welcome in Zukuru! The head man's locust bean cakes -- they will be your locust bean cakes! His fermented buffalo milk will be your fermented buffalo milk!

- Tanya Roberts, Sheena

Sunday, May 3, 2009

When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you.

- Chuck Norris, Code of Silence

I eat Green Berets for breakfast. And right now, I'm very hungry!

- Arnold Schwarzenegger, Commando

So many assholes. So few bullets.

- Andrew Dice Clay, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane

Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!

- Samuel L. Jackson, Snakes on a Plane

My instincts are to wax your ass all over this floor!

- Wesley Snipes, Passenger 57

I’ll shove that bat up your ass and turn you into a popsicle.

- James Remar, The Warriors

Saturday, May 2, 2009

She's got a great body. She makes you want to buy rubbers.

- Mel Gibson, Lethal Weapon 2

I'll kill you with my teacup.

- Vin Diesel, The Chronicles of Riddick

Sounds like you’ve had a hard life. Good thing it’s over!

- Steve Austin, The Condemned

I'm still kicking. I must be on Broadway.

- Jean-Claude Van Damme, Timecop

I always wanted to be a milk shake.

- Sylvester Stallone, Over The Top

Is looking like a constipated warthog a prerequisite for getting a job in the art world?

- Bruce Willis, Hudson Hawk

Friday, May 1, 2009

A little fishing town about 80 miles north of Anchorage. You've probably heard of it. It's called Fuck Your Momma.

- Steve Austin, The Condemned
You wanna cut my throat, go ahead. You wanna cut my fuckin' head off and use it for a fuckin' basketball? You can bowl with the motherfucker for all I care! Just don't let HIM do it! I don't wanna get killed by this limey, immigrant JERKOFF! I wanna get killed by an AMERICAN jerkoff!

- Kurt Russell, Tango & Cash
Thanks a lot you shit-brained, fuck-faced, ball breaking, duck fucking pain in the ass.

- Sylvester Stallone, Demolition Man
What's on the menu tonight? The old blowtorch-to-the-family jewels routine, I'll bet. Hey, you want roasted nuts, let's break out the Planters.

- Vin Diesel, XXX

I live to see you eat that contract, but I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I’m going to ram it into your stomach and break your goddamn spine!

- Arnold Schwarzenegger, The Running Man

It's the Collection Agency, Bison. Your ass is six months over due, and it's mine.

- Jean-Claude Van Damme, Street Fighter

I'm gonna take you to the bank. To the blood bank.

- Steven Seagal, Hard to Kill

Screw the world. If I'm gonna die for something, it better be bitches and money.

- Vin Diesel, XXX